Double Helix Stain

through poor breeding
through acute needing
even the plants are seeding
looking away in jealousy, in shame
now i am seething

to make you
to make you...like me
to make you like me
to make you...like me

wanting every bit of no part of me
and knowing it so i inquire painfully
the answer always hurts, again i seethe
used to punish myself for this
'till i found out i'm simply guilty

to make you
never break you...like me
to make you like me
you'll never see...just me

trapped in the spirals of my own little helix
blueprints for disaster and i swear i can feel it
always like a stain i'm washed away
like filth or dirt not allowed to stay
off on the sideline, but in the way

so now all there is just a little stain
and it only came with a little pain
frustration mounts with sweet release
forever pent up until i'm deceased
and it all ends up in a double helix stain